Major Network Porn?

Although sex is not anything new to television, this week's Newsweek features an article on how TV sex has become much more frequent and graphic in the last year. Probably not new news to you, but the article focused on the ways sex is being stretched on non-cable major networks. With new shows like "Swingtown"(CBS), major networks are trying to run more shows on sexuality without the cable-ready sexual graphics that are a mainstay on HBO and Showtime. Swingtown's writers made an interesting comment concerning having to tone down the dialogue and graphics to make it major network ready after HBO decided to pass on the show:

"It just allowed us to be freer to explore the characters without having to make as much happen in the bedroom. It's about the relationships that develop outside of the sexual moments. It's refreshing, frankly."

So, what do you think? What is the positive in this? What do you think it may lead to? Or is it another downward step to hellish TV viewing? ...Peace.

The "D" Word

Ahh, the most scariest of concepts is being addressed over at Deadly Viper Character Assassins today - Full Disclosure of physical sexual behavior apart from your spouse or partner. As I always say at the Every Mans Battle workshops, "the 'D' word in sexual integrity work is not divorce, it's disclosure." This concept makes the strongest folks run for the hills. As much as this concept has differing opinions, the opportunity of change and true intimacy that develops out of honesty and confession can only happen when the hiding and lying and control are surrendered in disclosure. Check it out over @ Deadly Vipers and chime in on your thoughts, feelings and viewpoint. Take Care.

Peace Keepers and Sexual Abuse

I read and listened to a very sad story today on some peace keepers and aid workers sexually abusing kids around the globe as relief agencies try to bring aid to these children and families. The children are not only at risk for not receiving life-giving needs, but they are becoming increasingly vulnerable to violations sexually by those who bring those needs to them in times of emergencies. It got me thinking about how deep a problem sexual misunderstanding and pain is around the world.
What is it going to take to change the current language of sexual understanding and how it effects people's perspective of others and sexuality including such violations as this? I like some of the suggestions given by Save The Children UK in this video, but it seems like something more is needed. Beyond a global watchdog group, what might be done to teach on aspects of objectification and healthy understanding of sexual desires to not only safe guard vulnerable children but also promote healthy understanding of sex? What do you think about this situation?

Golf Cart Lovin'

Last night I had the honor of lovin' people with a golf cart. Yes, a golf cart! It was awesome. Probably one of the most fun things I've done all year. Our church, University Fellowship Church, is about a mile away from the Lowes Motor Speedway in Concord, NC. Twice a year NASCAR puts on two big races, one over Memorial Day weekend and one in October. Our church volunteers to drive the carts to help the handicap or anybody who wants a ride to get to and from their cars or campsites.

During Memorial Day weekend, NASCAR's Sunday race brings in nearly 180,000 people. The Speedway becomes the fourth largest city in North Carolina on that day. Any tips/donations made on the golf cart ride go to Speedway Charities. It is a win-win and a blast.

I got to meet people from Canada, New York, Pennsylvania, West Virginia, Indiana and even from my own backyard of Concord. My favorite part was just pulling up to folks who had been walking for a while and still had good ways to go(sometimes up to a mile) and just saying, "you need a lift". It was awesome to see their expression of relief and gratitude.

One lady mentioned to me after driving her and her husband about a half mile to their car, " I want your job!" People were so surprised that I, we, etc. would offer them a ride. Some folks even sat and talked with me for a while prior to disembarking the cart. It was an awesome way of showing love and meeting people. What really hit me about last night is how just a little bit of love or giving brings on a whole lot of connection. I can't wait til October when I can volunteer again to do some golf cart lovin'. Have a fun and safe Memorial Day weekend. Peace.

Do People Need Sex?

The most awesomest folks over at Deadly Viper Character Assassins asked me to be a guest blogger on their site today. Thank you guys. Make sure to go on over and check out their site and weigh in on the topic I wrote about - Do People Need Sex?. Peace

The Dip

Seth Godin is my new hero. Yes, I still have heroes...it's good for the soul. Lately, I have been really encouraged by reading some of Seth's books. Seth is a blogger and a marketing guru. One of his books, called the Dip, was of great encouragement to me, not only in business but in my recovery as well. Seth talks about facing adversity in projects, careers, ideas, goals, journeys, etc. and knowing when to quit or when to stick to something to reach your overall passion, desire or mission in life. At first as I read it, I looked at many of my current endeavors in my career and saw how I was facing a current dip in one of those endeavors. But as I continued to read and ponder Seth's little book, I saw how his encouraging words really apply to hearts and lives healing and recovering from addictions, betrayal, loss in relationship and wounds. In any journey there are always dips, always adversity. There have been times in my healing journey in recovery when a dip or adversity has made me want to quit or go back to my old ways. How I face the dip or adversity is a part of the healing, recovery process. How do you face a dip or adversity in your journey? Check out Seth's little book.

How was your sex ed?

My sex ed went like this: I got called a “blow job” by a kid at school in fifth grade. I didn’t know what that was. I came home, sat down on the couch. My dad’s reading the paper, my mom’s watching TV, and I said, “Hey, Mom, Dad, what’s a blow job?” Mom shot up off the couch, ran out of the room screaming, laughing, crying all in the same breath. Dad never moved. And I’m going, “Oh, no. I’ve done it now.” A few moments later Dad just leaned the paper over a little bit and says, “Son, we don’t talk like that around here.” And that was it. That was my sex ed. A couple of weeks later, my mom was driving me in the car, and she was looking straight ahead and she said, “Did your dad talk to you about that thing you asked about the other day?” I’m going, “No.” And so she proceeds to give me the technical aspects of oral sex. That was it. As a kid I had all these questions and thoughts: "That seems odd, you know, weird." "What does that taste like? " "Will you get pregnant?" "Is that all there is?" It’s not the easiest thing to talk about.

So, how about you what was your sex ed like? Good? Bad? Ugly?

The Hot Sex Has Started

Jump on over to Deadly Viper Character Assassins this week as they begin their week of Hot Sex. This is a site dedicated to helping develop and encourage the integrity and building of character of leaders. They are discussing some great topics around sexuality. Today's topic - Gay Fantasies and Homoeroticism. Check it out and chime in on the discussion.

Code of Silence?

I have a heavy heart today as I read about a man's recent exposure around his sexual acting out issues and subsequent arrest around those issues. Not always new news to me with the honor I have to walk with men and women in this arena on a daily basis. But my heart sank when I read the article about this man and his employer and church's response to his condition and arrest. First for the man, Joe Barron, who is a pastor at a very prominent church in the Dallas TX area , who needs support and prayers as he begins a further journey of brokenness. But secondly in response to his employer's response to the debacle. The senior pastor of the church, Rev. Jack Graham, stated according to the article, "The pastor said he was eager to move on. 'We want to put this in the rearview mirror,' Graham said." Wait a minute, this is more about an opportunity rather than just putting this "in the rearview mirror". In a church the size of this one, around 26,000 people, there are many who are struggling with similar conditions or sin much like this pastor. This has been one of the toughest, heart wrenching things I see in this area of sexual misunderstanding - the propensity to stuff it or have a code of silence on the issue that so many struggle with in secret. My heart hopes that this church and staff and others like it may use this as a grace opportunity for growth and understanding brokenness in new ways rather than just stuffing it in the closet again. What do you think? Is it an opportunity or should they just move forward? Peace...

Thank You Twitter

Twitter saved this blog. Call it Twitter Sobriety. It has been Twitter that has gotten me back into the habit of writing. I know,I know it's such a small thing and so easy to do. But there in lies the struggle and the fight. In all of my recovery of my heart I've had to learn things the hard way as well as through lots of procrastination (read: fearing failure, success and rejection). But twitter got me back on track. It started by just trying to help folks struggling with porn on the phones and pda's since there is very little filter software out there. It turned into a mini revival for me. This journey of the heart is full of twists, turns and tumbles. Feel free to join me @ twitter...each day I give out little reminders of caring for your heart no matter what your struggling with. Thank You Twitter.

How often do you encounter procrastination in your journey? Peace...

escape

Wow, that was a long break. Learning lessons in life and in blogging. I did not want eroswounded to end up another dead blog on the blogosphere. So, I'll give it another shot. The mission remains the same: growing in understanding intimacy and encouraging healing of sexuality and intimacy in all relationships. Sexual brokenness remains a little talked about and so oft misunderstood issue in the hearts of people. Bottom-line: no one escapes it to some degree or another(a broken heart, a betrayal, pushing the sexual limit, etc.). What do you think? Have you escaped it? Do you long for understanding, a safe place to discuss it? Let us know. Peace.